One day we wake up and it’s a day just like yesterday.
We wake up and realize it’s just like a year ago waking up to a flash of sunlight pouring through the shades
…Turning away to avoid the light—
We wake up and let the first thought define our day
We wake up—either thinking too much, or not at all
…Don’t know which is worse—
We wake up and flow through our morning routine as if it was some ethereal plan destined to happen
We wake up groggy regretting the long night partying, or “hanging out,” or walking… running? , maybe fucking? , or staring hard into the darkness wondering Why the Fuck, can’t I sleep?
We wake up with a smile on our face and force ourselves to believe it’s going to be a great day—and sometimes it is
We wake up expressionless wishing things were better
We wake up with eyes still red and sore from the insomnia that won’t go away
We wake up staring blankly into the ceiling wishing we didn’t have to leave the comfort of our bed
We wake up lost in the dreams we can never remember
We wake up; going through our days and shit happens, and we just can’t even cope, hiding every little detail from everyone, because we believe no one cares
We wake up and it’s always the same, nothing changes (but that’s our fault…)
We wake up wishing it was the last time—losing all motivation to live
Then one day we try…
And we wake up determined to change
We wake up and we think of the good times
We wake up tired from our long night remembering the joys it brought
We wake up and fight ourselves into the day
We fall asleep, and for the first time in a while
We wake up—refreshed—and the sunlight bathes our face in warmth
We wake up and breakfast never tasted better
We wake up; and our day is filled with smiles
We wake up and for the first time we realize we’re happy
And as we lay down we remember all the times we had
All of the moments and challenges we faced to realize that it brought us to this exact moment
Where we would fall asleep
And that would be the last time we woke up.
I used to stay awake because my demons wanted to play.
So I let them…
And ever so often, they won.
Then I met you, and you brushed them away.
So I stayed awake thinking of you instead.
But now you’re gone, and it seems that my demons never left.
Emanating deep within there is a vibration pulsing
Fast then slow, rushing quick through tunnels
That expand and constrict as movement explodes through this weirdly shaped vessel
Where loud heavy falls follow each other
Teetering from one side to the other as we are propelled forward
Bursting into an empty expanse, and suddenly it’s as if we’re weightless
As air attempts to catch us, but drops us effortlessly
Into this cool sensation that floods its way past us, engulfing everything around us
And for a moment there is a slight struggle before emerging above.
With only part of us over the fluid, we’re awestruck by a sight so beautiful.
And it’s such a shame that we cannot be part of the picture that will live within us forever
A bright light burning its way down to join us in this oversized bath
A light that colors the sky in different hues of pink and orange
Here we are, a small part of an endless shutter of images that we’ll never see ourselves in.
Sitting in Silence
In my dark cold room
With Chills running through my body
The monsters return to play
While I drag the blade ever so slowly across tender skin
Staring plainly in disappointment,
As blood oozes out and drips down my arm like crimson tears.
Wondering where the pain is
Standing high over rushing waters
Drenched under icy tears
She’s getting ready to leave
Climbing over the railing
On to the ledge
Her hair swaying with the wind
And it’s almost time to go
I’m screaming deafly into the lightning filled skies
But loud thunder cries cast me aside
I’m freaking out—sprinting aimlessly to her rescue
As she starts to close her eyes
Taking a breath, she leans forward
Everything in that moment freezes
The chilling raindrops all stop in one motion
The flowing rapids stop moving
My heart stops beating
And She stretches out ready to fly
I jump over the edge, reaching for safety
Taking her wrist—all such a surreal moment.
She looks at me dazed—letting out a wheezing gasp.
As if, she were holding her breath her entire life
She let out a whimper and began to weep
I was losing my grip—with panic shivering through my bones
So I took one last moment to save our sanity.
I wanted to see her smile one last time.
So as she stared into my face
I yelled “Together—”my eyes finishing my sentence
Lightning flashed through the stormy night
As she choked on her sobs, and let out a whisper of a laugh
The largest grin struck upon her angelic face.
I let go of the bridge, and hand in hand, we fell
And as we crashed into the water—
I opened my eyes…
Gazing over the ledge
Breathing in the wet, slippery air
I let myself fall
Following the warm rain
Into the chaotic river